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From:

[ A slight hesitation. Then: ]

I’d imagine they’re like any other. Some bad people, some good. I think - [ she knows - ] the bad ones probably are being listened to more than the good ones, right now.

From:

inkindled

Oh.

[He weighs this, with real thought. (Brief, but real.)]

I hadn't thought of that. S'ppose it makes sense. It's just that when we hear about the Venatori, we don't hear about anything good. Or anyone good, for that matter. But we're like that, sort of, so why wouldn't the Venatori be that way as well.

From:

incaenstrix

[ She gives a noise of agreement. ]

I mean - even just Calpernia. She spent her whole life enslaved, in the household of a magister, even - and then she freed herself. And she became the Elder One's most powerful lieutenant. It's absolutely incredible, you know - and she wouldn't have gotten there if she hadn't been a mage, and maybe even if she hadn't been a human, that's true, but she also wouldn't have gotten there if she weren't brave and resolute and clever. And it's so common that someone takes a look at you and says, well, a slave can't amount to anything, no matter how strong you are, but there are people who saw Calpernia and saw how incredible she is, rather than just seeing her status.

From:

inkindled

Right, yeah-- [Encouraging, not dismissive. He's not entirely certain, still, about the Venatori part of this--but this is more familiar. Matthias has talked a lot, in this conversation--in every conversation, really--so he can recognize how much this must mean to her, to have said so much.] --that just goes to show, doesn't it, that people shouldn't have dismissed her in the first place. And then imagine if they hadn't. She'd've started even farther ahead, right?

Hang on, how'd she free herself? You can do that?

From:

incaenstrix

I mean -

[ A little of the reticence returns. ]

Yeah. If you kill your master.

From:

inkindled

Oh.

[Again. He's saying that a great deal. Then again, he's learning--or relearning, maybe--a great deal, here, so. Makes a sort of sense. And, more to the point,]

Good.

From:

incaenstrix

[ A hesitation. Then she admits - ]

I didn't do that. I - got freed by others. But - someday, I will. I'll find him.

From:

inkindled

You will.

[He's quick with that, firm, because it's true. The certitude comes of having sat around pitiful little campfires with other apprentices, keeping warm by the flames and by the strength of their own convictions. Every so often someone new would voice their story, and everyone would listen, and agree: it was shit, what happened. But it would not happen every again, to anyone, not while they were standing and together.]

It goes in that order, sometimes. I-- Well, I reckon. I wouldn't know precisely. You've been somewhere different'n I have, but-- I know, in a small way. It doesn't make it mean anything less if you go back and do that bit later. And in the meantime, you're out here and free and all, and that's the first bit, the bit that matters right now. 'Cos you're here.

From:

incaenstrix

[ Ah. She swallows. Then she says, quietly - ]

I see why Marcus trusts you.

From:

inkindled

[Not expecting that to be said in this moment, especially so candidly, and openly, Matthias says,]

Argkf, [then,] sorry. Oh. Yeah. Does he? I mean, sure, yeah. I didn't-- I wasn't trying to be-- I mean, I did mean it. What I said.

From:

incaenstrix

[ The absurd noise startles a little laugh out of her. ]

Sorry. Was that awkward? It's - What you said made me feel better.

From:

inkindled

No, it wasn't. I mean, you haven't got to be sorry. I mean--I'm glad, like, that it, that it made you feel better.

[Whew. Deep breath. Come at this again.]

I'm sorry. I'm the one what's awkward. I'm a right tit sometimes. Most times. Sorry. You'll learn that if you keep talking with me after this, which, [a little self-deprecating laugh,] I'd not blame you if you decided I wasn't worth it.

But, really. I am glad, to have made you feel better. Even a little. You-- You seem all right.

From:

incaenstrix

[ She giggles. ]

You do too. Do you want to practice magic sometime?

From:

inkindled

Yeah!

[That's an immediate mood improvement.]

Yeah, that'd be brilliant. Anytime you like--right now, even. I think we'd be well-suited to practice together, if we're doing some of the same things, but not all of the same things. And I love practicing besides, I dunno about you.

From:

incaenstrix

Sometimes. It does depend a bit who I'm practicing with.

From:

inkindled

Well, yeah, I s'ppose same for me, really. What makes a guaranteed no for you?

From:

incaenstrix

Oh - calling me names. Talking down to me. Smacking me. Stuff that’ll be easy to avoid. What about you?

From:

inkindled

Uhhh-- that, but sometimes that's sort of motivating, you know? I reckon I'm better when I'm angry. Sometimes. Well, maybe not. 'Cos I don't think clearly. I think I always thought I was better when I was angry, but I dunno that that's true actually.

So, all of that. Yeah. And anyone that says they want to practice but then they try too hard to show you up and beat you. 'Cos that's not what it's about at all.