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[inkindled]

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[inkindled]

Uhhh-- that, but sometimes that's sort of motivating, you know? I reckon I'm better when I'm angry. Sometimes. Well, maybe not. 'Cos I don't think clearly. I think I always thought I was better when I was angry, but I dunno that that's true actually.

So, all of that. Yeah. And anyone that says they want to practice but then they try too hard to show you up and beat you. 'Cos that's not what it's about at all.

[incaenstrix]

I can imagine that'd be really irritating. Yeah. What makes you think you're not so good when you're angry?

[inkindled]

I-- Well, I tend to fuck up. When I'm angry.

[incaenstrix]

[ Eh. She gives a little frown, and then says, nonjudgmentally: ]

That makes sense, yeah. I guess most people do.

[inkindled]

Yeah. True.

[He hesitates (for once).]

It's just, when you fuck up, and you're using magic-- it can go badly. Not in a way you mean it to. Right?

[incaenstrix]

[ A little thoughtful frown. ]

I mean, you can hurt someone if you’re not particularly accurate, or something like that. Is that what you mean?

[inkindled]

Yeah.

But you could turn into an Abomination as well. If it was really bad.

[incaenstrix]

[ How do you know a mage isn't from the South? You know because she says something like: ]

What is an Abomination, exactly?

[inkindled]

[Right. Having someone ask that, so baldly--it's strange.]

It's when you get possessed, by a demon. You're alive and you can see what you're doing but you haven't got any control. And outside you looks like you, and sound like you, but it's the demon and it's moving you like a puppet. It happens when-- when you're weak.

[incaenstrix]

[ A blink of surprise. ]

I thought that - if a demon caught you, you died.

[ She has, it seems, been misinformed. ]

[inkindled]

You do, at the end. Either 'cos someone kills you or gets the demon to rip its way out of you. But there's a bit before, a long bit sometimes, where you're still alive.

Did they teach you about this? I know you weren't in a Circle, like--but you were somewhere. And you had magic.

[incaenstrix]

They -

[ A slight hesitation. ]

They taught me a few things. Like - Yeah. If I was in the Fade, and I saw a demon, I had to run away from it, because it'd kill me right away. Which I guess...isn't true, exactly.

[inkindled]

Not exactly. Not exactly untrue, either, I s'ppose.

[But still.]

What else did they teach you, then?

[incaenstrix]

Well…How to read. Sort of. And then they left me with a few books about magic, and brought me out to practice every now and again. I just learned to do the basic spells - fire and lightning, that’s it. I think maybe they thought if I exercised my magic it’d be useful, but they didn’t want me to do it too much.

[inkindled]

'Cos you might use it against them?

[incaenstrix]

Yeah. ‘Cause I’d have killed them if I could.

[ Maybe. Maybe not. At first she’d been so grateful for the luxury and soft living, and - she’d been timid, back then. ]

[inkindled]

Yeah.

[When Matthias thought of Tevinter, before--it was dark, but with a silver thread. Mages were in charge. Whatever else could be said of it, there was that. He rubs his thumb against the edge of the desk. It's been worn smooth by years, people bumping their forearms against it. Maybe mages before him, mages who were here at the Gallows.]

That was almost clever of them. 'Cos you would have, and they knew that.

What was the first bit of magic you ever did?

[incaenstrix]

[ A little intake of breath in response to the question. It’s a gentler topic. Easier. ]

I don’t - really remember.

[ There’s still a bit of smothered intensity in her voice. ]

But the first time I really knew it was magic, for sure - I was cold, and I wanted to be warm, so - fire sort of happened.

[inkindled]

Practical.

[He's a little charmed, still, not half because,] Fire was my first bit of magic as well. I was showing off. Yours is better.

I used to wonder--well, I still do, I s'ppose--if it means anything, what you do first. Like if it says something about you.

[incaenstrix]

Like - we're both fiery? Or maybe warm?

[inkindled]

Erm. Maybe.

D'you think of yourself as warm?

[incaenstrix]

I try to be. The world's nasty enough without us being nasty in it, right?

[inkindled]

Oh. Well, yeah. I s'ppose that's true. It is. That's-- nice, besides. I hadn't thought of it that way, for me, anyways. I think about fire being hot and the way it-- Well, I don't think of myself as being nasty. But I have to fight a lot. That's what I think of.

[incaenstrix]

Do you think that's what you would have been like if it weren't for - [ You know. ] Everything?

[inkindled]

Maybe. I dunno.

Well, actually--has anyone told you about the sort of things that come up, in Riftwatch? As in, the sort of... problems, we have to deal with?