[Emboldened by that prompting, Matthias darts another glance up at Marcus. This time, he manages to hold it.]
That it wasn't right. [He lifts his chin a little.] I still think it wasn't right. Even if it was an order, even if it was right for Riftwatch, just then--
[The heavy wool of Matthias' wet hood sluffs forward into his eyes; impatiently, he shoves it back with his wrist, and takes in a big breath.]
I mean, I don't love the Venatori, yeah, I don't have any plans to scarper off and join them. But I understand mages what feel there's not a great many options. Yeah? I mean, there's more than Corypheus, isn't there? I want to stop him as well, more'n anything that's what I want, or else I wouldn't be here. But after he's gone, I don't want to wake up and find myself on the other side of everything else that I believe in. And, and I think all of that gets forgotten. Sometimes. That's all.
[ Marcus absorbs all of this silently, watchful, and when it's done, there's a subtle gentling in his manner. Points of tension loosened, stare less intent.
He nods once at 'That's all'. ]
I took the matter to Flint, [ he says. ] I'd have you know that, in the event the issue rises. Much of what I told him is what you've told me. That it wasn't right. That in being one more force in this world that kills mages, we deny our own people a chance at anything better than dying, or turning traitor.
Your instincts are good, Matthias. You should trust them. Had you raised your voice, perhaps Isaac might have raised his.
Perhaps not, [ is added, an allowance. Orlesians. ] But I think it time we made ourselves heard.
[Orlesians indeed. Matthias had turned pink at the compliment to his instincts, couched though it was with a suggestion to do better. Of course he might do better, and Marcus is right to say that. Now he smiles, small, at the implied inclusivity of the whole thing. Him and Enchanter Rowantree, of one mind on something. Imagine.
Loyalty moves him to say,] Isaac's all right.
[But not us goes without saying. Not someone with good instincts that might speak up, but all right. Matthias digs the toe of his boot against the ground.]
You say it all much better'n I could have. What did Commander Flint say? When you spoke with him about it?
[ There is a hint of a smile from the ordinarily unmoving expression Marcus wears. Yes, Isaac's alright.
It doesn't last, his mind turning to the conversation with the Commander. He doesn't like to obfuscate, to deceive, yet relaying all that Flint said feels irresponsible, and so Marcus falls silent as he thinks on how best to answer Matthias' question. It's a reasonable one. ]
He wanted them and their deeds kept out've the hands of the Divine, to do with as she would. To use, as she would. He avoided the trial, and ordered the execution.
[ He doesn't cast a judgment on this, but falls silent then, watching Matthias. ]
The Divine ought not to have had anything to do with them. I wouldn't have wanted her to conduct any trial for them. But we might've. Only that's not what Riftwatch is about, really. Is it? Trials and judgments and all.
[Maybe? He resists the urge to add another is it? to the end of that. Enchanter Rowantree had told him that he ought to trust his instincts and already Matthias is striving to take that to heart. He resists the urge, too, to look away, to scuff his boot against the ground, act on any of the little fidgets that he'd normally give in to. If he's in conversation with Enchanter Rowantree, he might try to act not as a child.]
Had they survived to see justice in Ghislain, their story would still work its way back to Orlais. To be interpreted, rewritten. A reason to corral mages, to distrust them. I understand Flint's imperative.
[ It is, perhaps, a slip of formality. But it seems important not to wholly simplify this, to reduce it to the easy lesson. He meets Matthias' effort for eye contact steadily. ]
But I would have asked of their stories. What compelled them to leave the March, as they did? Would not that be useful in our campaign to win our freedom? We won't know, now. And if Flint was one of us, perhaps we would.
[ The return of anger is kept low in its hearth, glowing coals rather than leaping flame. He lets it warm his tone, but keeps it only there.
Business-like; ]
I've requested he abstain from forcing your hand that way again.
[Matthias, entranced, nods along. He is paying very close attention--so close he imagines he could get a headache from the effort--and carving every word into his memory to be poured over later. It feels very good, to be talked at so candidly, to be pulled into what at least feels like confidence and to be trusted with this information. Like listening to the Senior Enchanter but so much better.
And on top of that, it all makes so much sense. Why not ask mages their stories? Because everyone has got one, some reason why they do what they do. Yes, if he were to get to be half as wise as Enchanter Rowantree, he'd be doing all right for himself.
The last bit plucks Matthias out of his reverie. Startled, he blinks.]
Not--like, stop working with Forces? [No, hang on. The mages, specifically, the very thing they've been talking about. Matthias, you tit.] No, sorry--I mean, er-- I'm all right, Enchanter. I can manage with Flint and all of it.
It's done, [ is not harsh, just final. Certainly, Marcus seems convinced of that, or convinced that he will be entitled to disappointment if it isn't. ] It's better he knows to manage himself, that it isn't acceptable, than to force us to police him. And you in particular, in your position.
And I would ask you bring it to me, or Isaac, or Leander, anyone of us you trust, if he steps beyond those bounds again. Will you?
[No hesitation, no misgiving, at least at first. If Marcus Rowantree is going to ask something of him, Matthias is going to say yes. And it makes sense. So it isn't even proper misgiving that comes second. He bites at the inside of his cheek, stares down at his boots--then all at once looks up again.]
I only mean I can help. I will help. I'm not afraid of anything--not of Commander Flint, so I will say something, if he goes out of bounds--but I'm not afraid of anything else, either. I know we've got to do things that might be difficult, or something. And I'm all right with that. I'm ready for it.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2021-02-17 11:19 pm (UTC)That it wasn't right. [He lifts his chin a little.] I still think it wasn't right. Even if it was an order, even if it was right for Riftwatch, just then--
[The heavy wool of Matthias' wet hood sluffs forward into his eyes; impatiently, he shoves it back with his wrist, and takes in a big breath.]
I mean, I don't love the Venatori, yeah, I don't have any plans to scarper off and join them. But I understand mages what feel there's not a great many options. Yeah? I mean, there's more than Corypheus, isn't there? I want to stop him as well, more'n anything that's what I want, or else I wouldn't be here. But after he's gone, I don't want to wake up and find myself on the other side of everything else that I believe in. And, and I think all of that gets forgotten. Sometimes. That's all.
no subject
Date: 2021-02-18 10:58 am (UTC)He nods once at 'That's all'. ]
I took the matter to Flint, [ he says. ] I'd have you know that, in the event the issue rises. Much of what I told him is what you've told me. That it wasn't right. That in being one more force in this world that kills mages, we deny our own people a chance at anything better than dying, or turning traitor.
Your instincts are good, Matthias. You should trust them. Had you raised your voice, perhaps Isaac might have raised his.
Perhaps not, [ is added, an allowance. Orlesians. ] But I think it time we made ourselves heard.
no subject
Date: 2021-02-20 10:44 pm (UTC)Loyalty moves him to say,] Isaac's all right.
[But not us goes without saying. Not someone with good instincts that might speak up, but all right. Matthias digs the toe of his boot against the ground.]
You say it all much better'n I could have. What did Commander Flint say? When you spoke with him about it?
no subject
Date: 2021-02-27 12:46 pm (UTC)It doesn't last, his mind turning to the conversation with the Commander. He doesn't like to obfuscate, to deceive, yet relaying all that Flint said feels irresponsible, and so Marcus falls silent as he thinks on how best to answer Matthias' question. It's a reasonable one. ]
He wanted them and their deeds kept out've the hands of the Divine, to do with as she would. To use, as she would. He avoided the trial, and ordered the execution.
[ He doesn't cast a judgment on this, but falls silent then, watching Matthias. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-02-28 10:51 pm (UTC)The Divine ought not to have had anything to do with them. I wouldn't have wanted her to conduct any trial for them. But we might've. Only that's not what Riftwatch is about, really. Is it? Trials and judgments and all.
[Maybe? He resists the urge to add another is it? to the end of that. Enchanter Rowantree had told him that he ought to trust his instincts and already Matthias is striving to take that to heart. He resists the urge, too, to look away, to scuff his boot against the ground, act on any of the little fidgets that he'd normally give in to. If he's in conversation with Enchanter Rowantree, he might try to act not as a child.]
So maybe the 'we' should've been--other mages.
no subject
Date: 2021-03-01 09:29 am (UTC)[ It is, perhaps, a slip of formality. But it seems important not to wholly simplify this, to reduce it to the easy lesson. He meets Matthias' effort for eye contact steadily. ]
But I would have asked of their stories. What compelled them to leave the March, as they did? Would not that be useful in our campaign to win our freedom? We won't know, now. And if Flint was one of us, perhaps we would.
[ The return of anger is kept low in its hearth, glowing coals rather than leaping flame. He lets it warm his tone, but keeps it only there.
Business-like; ]
I've requested he abstain from forcing your hand that way again.
no subject
Date: 2021-03-03 01:38 am (UTC)And on top of that, it all makes so much sense. Why not ask mages their stories? Because everyone has got one, some reason why they do what they do. Yes, if he were to get to be half as wise as Enchanter Rowantree, he'd be doing all right for himself.
The last bit plucks Matthias out of his reverie. Startled, he blinks.]
Not--like, stop working with Forces? [No, hang on. The mages, specifically, the very thing they've been talking about. Matthias, you tit.] No, sorry--I mean, er-- I'm all right, Enchanter. I can manage with Flint and all of it.
no subject
Date: 2021-03-08 09:05 pm (UTC)And I would ask you bring it to me, or Isaac, or Leander, anyone of us you trust, if he steps beyond those bounds again. Will you?
no subject
Date: 2021-03-09 08:19 pm (UTC)[No hesitation, no misgiving, at least at first. If Marcus Rowantree is going to ask something of him, Matthias is going to say yes. And it makes sense. So it isn't even proper misgiving that comes second. He bites at the inside of his cheek, stares down at his boots--then all at once looks up again.]
I only mean I can help. I will help. I'm not afraid of anything--not of Commander Flint, so I will say something, if he goes out of bounds--but I'm not afraid of anything else, either. I know we've got to do things that might be difficult, or something. And I'm all right with that. I'm ready for it.